Forty Years Fat Is Enough! part 6

My Journey Continues

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…

DO BETTER TODAY

“Help! I’m falling back into my old habits. You know, eating whatever, whenever… I have GOT to STOP this.” I type as I sit at Panera Bread wiping the gooey egg yolk from my fingers and brushing away the crumbs from the brioche bun that have fallen onto my keyboard. “I’ll do better tomorrow.”

DO BETTER TODAY

These past few weeks have been a struggle. I don’t know why, I was doing so well. Strike that. I do know why. Because I am not trying. I am doing what I’ve always done. Which is lying to myself. “Oh, eat that. It’s okay. You’ll go back to your plan tomorrow.” If only that were true. I never go back to my plan tomorrow. Because tomorrow never comes. Rinse and repeat. To infinity.

DO BETTER TODAY

Why, when I know this about myself do I continue to believe it will be different? I started out so well. I’ve lost nearly 25 pounds. I’ve lost many inches. I’ve gone down sizes in clothing. I FEEL GOOD! But that’s not going to stay that way for long if I don’t get back on track. And stay there. Seriously, this is not a diet but the way to eat for life.

I am not totally off track. But I’ve indulged in so much bread these past few weeks. And sugar. My willpower has been pretty much nonexistent. And that’s on me. I know I can do this because I had been doing this. I let myself slip and, well, downhill and alla that…

DO BETTER TODAY

It’s like that damn diet coke. I gave it up for ten long months. TEN MONTHS of NO diet coke. I drank a lot of tea. Drank water. Allowed myself some diet 7up occasionally. But once I had one, there was no going back. Oh, I’ll just have one in the morning I told myself. Well, maybe another in the afternoon. Another after dinner wouldn’t hurt… Yeah, for me with diet coke it’s all or nothing apparently. As long as I wasn’t have any, I was okay. But once I had one, well their stock went up let me tell ya. But I’ll do better tomorrow.

DO BETTER TODAY

So, I’m sitting here psyching myself up to do this thing. To eat like I know I should. And to stop this diet coke obsession. To stop making excuses. To stop justifying what I am doing to myself. To stop telling myself it’s okay today, I’ll do better tomorrow.

DO BETTER TODAY

 

 

Forty Years Fat Is Enough! part 5

My Journey Continues

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…

Lesson Learned!

Weight Loss Goals. That is why I am following this program and trying to change the foods I eat. As well as to be healthier, feel better and look better. But, weight loss. Yeah.

Detox and Reduce Inflammation. Those are the main things eating like this is supposed to tackle. (And by “eating like this” I mean eating the way I should…) The weight loss is a wonderful side effect of eating right… But seriously, does cutting out sugar and bread and dairy make that big of a difference? To my joints? I am overweight. My body hurts. Of course it does. When I sit for a while then get up, my knees and my hips scream at me. Sometimes my ankles too. That’s par for the course when you have all that extra weight silly girl, right?

But, listen. I want to tell you something… I started this plan back the first of June. I have lost weight. I have felt good. Even better than good. My joints were NOT achy. After sitting, I’d get up and move and not groan. My knee hasn’t been a bother while walking, biking, or doing yoga. It’s been a great feeling! Until…

These past couple of weeks I’ve been out of town off and on. I didn’t plan too well so I was off my plan somewhat. I ate more sugar. I ate bread. Then more sugar. And bread. All. The. Bread. And this is what I noticed over the past weekend…

Ouch.  All the grumbling. My joints ached. Getting up after sitting for a while caused all sorts of groaning, moaning and well, what else rhymes with groaning? Yes, all the pain. What in my life has changed? Have I stopped moving around? Am I letting my old bones and muscles just hang out and do nothing? No, I’m still doing all the same things. I’ve maintained what I’ve lost so far. The ONLY thing that has been different is my diet. Sugar and bread crept back into my life when I got lazy while traveling. This was more than just the occasional cheat I might sneak in. This was me eating foods I hadn’t been eating and thinking oh, well, some bad choice days spread out over a couple of weeks is not going to make a difference. It’s not going to hurt anything.

Lie!  It did hurt something. It hurt ME! I hurt myself! No one to blame but me and my lack of planning and my poor choices. What have I learned from these past two weeks? Inflammation and toxins are REAL! Staying away from sugar and bread make all the difference. All. The. Difference.

I’m totally back on plan today and my joints are all jumping for joy.

And it doesn’t hurt…

 

Forty Years Fat Is Enough! part 4

My Journey Continues

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…

Eating like you should IS NOT EASY!

No, it’s not easy. Not for me. I like convenience. I’m also not much of a planner. I’m out and about most days and would just grab whatever was easy when hungry. You know that means going thru the drive-thru…  Eating the way you should means you need to do some planning.  You need to make better choices. Good choices. You have the power! Will you use that power for good or for evil? I choose good!

About a month has passed since you last heard from me. What is going on you ask? Still following your plan you ask? The short answer:  I’m trying to!  I’ve said goodbye to 20 pounds and some 17+ inches from various places in two months. Have I been perfect following my plan? Moi? No. I think that is impossible. But I have no complaints and I’m not too hard on myself.  Nobody’s perfect after all.  Like I mentioned above:  eating like you should IS NOT EASY…but it does get easier!

This past month I went on vacation. I was gone for 10 days enjoying the beach and then a couple of days in New Orleans.  I strived to follow my plan for the most part while gone. Did I eat things I now try to avoid? Pizza? Well, perhaps a slice.  (have I mentioned I love pizza?) Key Lime pie? Come on, I was AT THE BEACH. Chips while hanging out on the beach reading? Surprisingly, not a lot (small pat on the back). Fruity rum deliciousness in tall iced glasses? Again, I was AT THE BEACH. Did I visit Café du Monde while in NOLA and eat some beignets?  No, I did not eat SOME, but I did eat ONE.  But, seriously, I made my choices and I’m okay with what I did. Did I overdo? No. Did I go crazy? No. Did I gain weight? NO! I learned I can treat myself OCCASIONALLY just a LITTLE and not gain weight. Of course, right now I don’t want to maintain I want to lose. Which means straying from my plan is not something I should be doing. And I won’t, I promise (please remember, though, I am not perfect.) It is comforting to know I can fall off a bit and not spiral down like I have in the past. This is not a diet, it is a lifestyle choice and one that must be practiced a lifetime!

Oh, by the way… that Chic-O-Stick is STILL sitting in my cabinet.  I am ignoring it LIKE A BOSS! chickostickNOPE

 

 

Forty Years Fat is Enough! part 2

My Journey Begins

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…

So, what am I doing about it?  I have started a program to detox and reduce inflammation… but another happy result is weight loss.  I’m not going to go into all the details here; basically, I’ll be eating clean. Like I should. No sugar, artificial sweeteners, no bread, potatoes, corn… I have a list of food I can choose from.  Lots of veggies, fruits, beef, chicken, fish.  I’d say 1000-1200 calories a day.  It’s really doable I just have to be committed and disciplined. And realize it’s really a way of life, not a diet. The way I should be eating.  I’ve been doing pretty damn good since beginning June 1 if I do say so myself. Is it easy? No. Not because there isn’t enough food to eat or choose from, but the foods I want are not on the list.  I must make the changes to achieve what I want! And not just for a week. Or a month. Or a few months. Or a year. FOR LIFE! And I mean that as a measure of time and as opposed to death… yeah!

To borrow from Nike: Just Do It! Every. Damn. Day.

Have I cheated? Well, let’s just say I haven’t been perfect. That’s not something I’ll ever be. Trust me on this. But, my cheating hasn’t consisted of eating chips or bread or chocolate. No, my cheating has been Splenda tea.  Red Diamond already sweetened with Splenda tea.  Not cheating would be making my own tea and using stevia drops to sweeten. Is that going to hurt my weight loss? Probably not. Detox? Definitely.  I’ll get there. Just not today.  I haven’t had bread in 14 days. That’s huge for me! Haven’t had any heartburn in 14 days either. Coincidence? I think not.  I recently realized bread gave me heartburn. My beloved bread! When I abstained from bread? BOOM! No heartburn.

What have I noticed these past 14 days?  Well, as of this morning, 10 pounds gone. I know that’s not going to continue at the same rate, but it’s sure a nice jump start to get me excited.  What else have I noticed? I’ve noticed when I get up after sitting for a while I just get up and go. None of this groaning as I get started. Most likely due to less inflammation. What do I have to say about that? Amazing!

Am I exercising? I try to walk a couple of miles most days, and on the weekends I bike with my DH (that’s darling husband) 12-18 miles on Saturday or Sunday or both days if feeling adventurous and get up early enough before it’s 200 degrees outside. (that might be a bit of an exaggeration on the temp, but not by much)

My worst times seem to be at night after 8:00. That’s when I want something to eat that I should not have. In my cabinet is a Chick-O-Stick I bought last month. Saw it in grocery checkout lane. Used to eat those when I was kid—you know, like last month— it calls to me “Hey Shir, come take a bite. You know you want to. Just eat me and get it over with…”  Sure, I could just throw it away and shut its stupid mouth for good, but it’s a war now. He’s going to have to sit in that cabinet forever…

Who’s the boss now???

chickostickNOPE

Up next:

My Journey Continues

 

 

Meanest Mom in the World

To my darling daughter:

I am laughing as I re-read your text from this morning regarding your not quite 3-year-old daughter, my granddaughter. “She’s a crankypants this morning. Said she didn’t like me.” Makes me remember back to when I was the “meanest mother in the world” or sometimes the “worst mother in the world,” and you (or one of your brothers) didn’t like me. Yeah, I heard that often enough. I knew you (or your brothers) didn’t mean it. Well, maybe you DID mean it at the time, and for some time afterwards. But for whatever reason I was dubbed “meanest” or “worst” mother in the world you can bet it was because of something for your own good!

Now you are a mother yourself. And a damn fine one at that! I hope I had a little something to do with that. But know that anytime your children tell you they don’t like you or you are the worst mother ever, (and trust  me, they will) they don’t mean it (well, they won’t mean it for long). They love you, just as I have always known you love me. And now that you have a beautiful daughter yourself, one that you are filled with love and joy for, you perhaps have just a glimpse of how much I love you (and your brothers) and always will.  Enjoy every moment!

Hello world!

I’m a 53 year old first time grandma.  Or in my case Grammy.  No, wait, not 53.  Fifty two for another four weeks AND one day.  I’m well beyond the age where I cannot wait for that next birthday.  I’ll wait.

I want to write.  The advice given me is this:  Then write.  *laughs* I am creating a blog in order to have a focus.  To have a place to write. Daily. Yes, I said daily.  That is my intention.  I want to write and this will be my way to do it.  To set aside time each day to write about my life.  I know, those of you who are reading this are thinking, really? Is she really going to do this?  Because there is nothing I would like better than to read about her life!  Well, let me tell you people. IT IS YOUR LUCKY DAY!

What does one write about daily? Let’s face it, there’s not all that much interesting about my life or you’d have already seen it on the big screen starring Julia Roberts. Yeah, I’m sure Julia Roberts would play me in the story of my life. But I digress.  As I often do. Just get used to that now.  Focus. My life. I must say my life got a lot more exciting just recently.  A little less than eight weeks ago, I became a grandmother. To the most beautiful little girl. Well, as beautiful as her mother who is my little girl.  Her name is Elaina.  I call her Rosebud. Rosebud?  Why would you call her that you ask?  Let me explain.  I mentioned I want to write.  It is not something I have ever really done in my life outside of a little poetry and short stories in high school.  That was a few years ago for me by the way.  I like to read. Romance, historical romance, paranormal romance, urban fantasy with a particular love for Scotland (which my lovely husband took to me visit two summers ago). This love of reading lead me to a site on Facebook devoted to a group of books from an author I greatly enjoy.  Wait, what?  Facebook?  Aren’t you a bit old for that??  *Laughs at that* Not hardly.  I don’t even know how I ended up with this group of Facebook friends.  But end up there I did.  Others in the group are wonderful writers and have been doing this for a while.  I am in awe of the way some of them write.  One day some of them will have their own books published I just know it!  Anyways,  I have a bit of what I call mentoring going on with me being the mentoree (I just made up that word, sorry) And the mentor (that truly is a word) is truly a wonderful writer.  Painting pictures with words. Truly an artist. I want to paint pictures with words.  I want people to read what I write and close your eyes and see it. So, I listen to what the mentor has to say and try to follow the suggestions.  Anyways, one of the first things he talked me through doing was trying to describe something. I won’t go into all the detail and instruction and examples given to me at this time, but my final project was a paragraph description of Elaina, who was not yet even two weeks old.  This is my paragraph:

As I gaze at the miracle before me, my eyes fill with tears.  Fleeting impressions of her beauty, all pastel pinks, muted and hazy like a Monet painting fill my mind. I blink away the tears and she comes into focus. She is as beautiful as a newly formed rosebud of the palest pink, with skin just as soft and delicate as its petals. Like that rose which opens to the sun, her beauty unfurls to the light of those around her.

So, this is how I come to call her Rosebud.  And did that paint a picture for you?  I hope it did.  The picture you see may be blurry and out of focus, much as my writing is right now. . .  But something I hope to improve on!   My husband, her grandpa, didn’t get it.  And his description goes like this:  She’s okay.  She’s got big hands and big feet and sometimes she smells.  *laughing* How poetic.  But, if you saw him with her, you would know that she is more beautiful and precious to him than anything in this world.  That Rosebud already has grandpa wrapped around her tiny stem!!!

I “retired” from my job in December so that I could take care of Elaina when her mother returns to work.  That begins on February 29.  I couldn’t be happier that I am able to do this.  There is nothing I would rather do.  So that is my focus.  Rosebud. I hope to spend time writing each day about our experiences, and if that leads to thoughts and stories of when my children were younger, well I’ll throw them in too. No extra charge.  Who knows what else will bubble forth from the recesses of my mind?  Guess you’ll just have to check back to find out!