Forty Years Fat is Enough!

You go back to doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to get what you’ve always got. And that, my friends, is FAT.

A Little Background

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…

I will be 60 years old next March. S.I.X.T.Y.  How is this possible? Well, I guess because I am still living, duh. Forty years ago, when I was 19, I had a melanoma removed from my lower left leg. At the time I wasn’t so worried. Skin cancer. No big deal. Well, as we all know now, melanoma IS a big deal and I was very lucky indeed. In the hospital for a nasty sinus infection the doctor checked me out and noticed what he deemed a suspicious mole on my lower leg. So he removed it and sent in for pathology. This removal resulted in a cut about an inch long and stitched afterwards. Not anything you’d eventually notice. Well, the pathology came back with malignant superficial melanoma if I’m remembering correctly. Superficial he said as it was growing more along the surface and not downward. Yet. So more was removed and I was left with a rather large 4 inch by 5 inch indented oval. The area was left with no feeling since pretty much skin, nerves, etc. were removed. The good news is all surrounding area tested was okay. And now it’s been 40 years and I’m still here. Thanks be to God. I don’t go into all this to blame that stupid melanoma on my 40 years of fat. That’s just a marker for when it started.

On a more joyous note, that is also the year I was engaged to marry my high school sweetheart. We had been dating off and on since 1975 when we were a junior (me) and senior (him) in high school. The melanoma was in April of 1978 and the engagement was in August.

I’d always been pretty much what you would call thin. At 5’8” tall I graduated high school at about 115 pounds wearing a size 5 white sundress. Yep, I was pretty darn skinny. Probably even too skinny. Hard to believe I ate so much junk and was that thin. Being in the high school band pretty much guaranteed a lot of exercise every day, though, which kept us an award-winning marching band my entire high school career.

I graduated in 1977 and followed my high school sweetheart to college. He had already completed a year and made my transition from high school to college easy. I put on a few pounds, as most people tend to do in college, but 125 looked good on me.  It was my second semester, spring 1978, I had to miss several weeks with at first a sinus infection and then dealing with the melanoma. I had to drop a class but finished the semester.  That summer I joined my boyfriend working at a theme park near our school. It was in August that we became engaged. I returned to college for fall 1978 and the spring 1979 semester then moved back home went to work and set about planning our wedding for June.

We were married in June 1979 and spent the summer in our hometown. We returned to college so my husband could finish his last semester. We lived on campus for the rest of that year. I became pregnant in August, expecting our first child in May of 1980, just one week shy of our first anniversary.  This was when I began my 40 years of fat…

We were blessed with three wonderful children. During my pregnancies, I thought I had free rein to eat whatever and however much I desired. Too bad I didn’t make healthier choices. I gained approximately 40 pounds with each child while only losing 20 of that after giving birth. That’s where the bulk of my extra weight came from. That’s 60 pounds right there. Each year I’d gain a few more. When you see you’ve gained a few pounds one year you kind of pooh-pooh it away. What’re 5 pounds? That’s nothing. Well, multiply that by 10 years and that’s another 50 pounds.  So it’s easy to see in hindsight where this extra 100 pounds came from.

FORTY YEARS FAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Yes, I’ve tried dieting over the years. Every year. Nothing sticks. I always go back to my unhealthy eating habits. I’m not a very stick-with-it kind of person. I want results quickly. I want to lose that weight then I want to be able to eat whatever I want. However much I want. Whenever I want. And still maintain that healthy weight. Yeah, right. You go back to doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to get what you’ve always got. And that, my friends, is FAT.

Every time I decide it is “the time” to do this, I would start out well whether it was WeightWatchers, Jenny Craig, the latest weight loss diet book, etc. etc. Then I would cheat a little. I’d tell myself that that one little bit won’t matter. I’ll get right back on track tomorrow. Then tomorrow. Then the next day. And so on to infinity. Until I just did whatever again without any thought. You know the drill. I’ll start again on Monday or on the first day of the next month or on January 1. Rinse and repeat.

FORTY YEARS FAT IS ENOUGH!

So, what is different this time? I am starting a new journey which I hope will be just what I need! And what is it I need? I need to eat healthily. Eat clean. Make good choices. Stick with it. I need to know that this is a lifestyle. Not a diet that when finished I go back to whatever the hell I want. I want to be healthy. I want to feel good. I want to enjoy my grandchildren! It’s not that I feel bad now, but I KNOW that is coming if I don’t make the changes. And make those changes my B-I-T-C-H yes, I am in charge!

Hopefully blogging about this will help keep me on track and give me an outlet for my thoughts as I begin this journey. Because, seriously, FORTY YEARS FAT IS ENOUGH!

Up next:

My Journey Begins