Forty Years Fat Is Enough! part 6

My Journey Continues

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…


“Help! I’m falling back into my old habits. You know, eating whatever, whenever… I have GOT to STOP this.” I type as I sit at Panera Bread wiping the gooey egg yolk from my fingers and brushing away the crumbs from the brioche bun that have fallen onto my keyboard. “I’ll do better tomorrow.”


These past few weeks have been a struggle. I don’t know why, I was doing so well. Strike that. I do know why. Because I am not trying. I am doing what I’ve always done. Which is lying to myself. “Oh, eat that. It’s okay. You’ll go back to your plan tomorrow.” If only that were true. I never go back to my plan tomorrow. Because tomorrow never comes. Rinse and repeat. To infinity.


Why, when I know this about myself do I continue to believe it will be different? I started out so well. I’ve lost nearly 25 pounds. I’ve lost many inches. I’ve gone down sizes in clothing. I FEEL GOOD! But that’s not going to stay that way for long if I don’t get back on track. And stay there. Seriously, this is not a diet but the way to eat for life.

I am not totally off track. But I’ve indulged in so much bread these past few weeks. And sugar. My willpower has been pretty much nonexistent. And that’s on me. I know I can do this because I had been doing this. I let myself slip and, well, downhill and alla that…


It’s like that damn diet coke. I gave it up for ten long months. TEN MONTHS of NO diet coke. I drank a lot of tea. Drank water. Allowed myself some diet 7up occasionally. But once I had one, there was no going back. Oh, I’ll just have one in the morning I told myself. Well, maybe another in the afternoon. Another after dinner wouldn’t hurt… Yeah, for me with diet coke it’s all or nothing apparently. As long as I wasn’t have any, I was okay. But once I had one, well their stock went up let me tell ya. But I’ll do better tomorrow.


So, I’m sitting here psyching myself up to do this thing. To eat like I know I should. And to stop this diet coke obsession. To stop making excuses. To stop justifying what I am doing to myself. To stop telling myself it’s okay today, I’ll do better tomorrow.




Forty Years Fat Is Enough! part 5

My Journey Continues

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…

Lesson Learned!

Weight Loss Goals. That is why I am following this program and trying to change the foods I eat. As well as to be healthier, feel better and look better. But, weight loss. Yeah.

Detox and Reduce Inflammation. Those are the main things eating like this is supposed to tackle. (And by “eating like this” I mean eating the way I should…) The weight loss is a wonderful side effect of eating right… But seriously, does cutting out sugar and bread and dairy make that big of a difference? To my joints? I am overweight. My body hurts. Of course it does. When I sit for a while then get up, my knees and my hips scream at me. Sometimes my ankles too. That’s par for the course when you have all that extra weight silly girl, right?

But, listen. I want to tell you something… I started this plan back the first of June. I have lost weight. I have felt good. Even better than good. My joints were NOT achy. After sitting, I’d get up and move and not groan. My knee hasn’t been a bother while walking, biking, or doing yoga. It’s been a great feeling! Until…

These past couple of weeks I’ve been out of town off and on. I didn’t plan too well so I was off my plan somewhat. I ate more sugar. I ate bread. Then more sugar. And bread. All. The. Bread. And this is what I noticed over the past weekend…

Ouch.  All the grumbling. My joints ached. Getting up after sitting for a while caused all sorts of groaning, moaning and well, what else rhymes with groaning? Yes, all the pain. What in my life has changed? Have I stopped moving around? Am I letting my old bones and muscles just hang out and do nothing? No, I’m still doing all the same things. I’ve maintained what I’ve lost so far. The ONLY thing that has been different is my diet. Sugar and bread crept back into my life when I got lazy while traveling. This was more than just the occasional cheat I might sneak in. This was me eating foods I hadn’t been eating and thinking oh, well, some bad choice days spread out over a couple of weeks is not going to make a difference. It’s not going to hurt anything.

Lie!  It did hurt something. It hurt ME! I hurt myself! No one to blame but me and my lack of planning and my poor choices. What have I learned from these past two weeks? Inflammation and toxins are REAL! Staying away from sugar and bread make all the difference. All. The. Difference.

I’m totally back on plan today and my joints are all jumping for joy.

And it doesn’t hurt…


Forty Years Fat Is Enough! part 4

My Journey Continues

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…

Eating like you should IS NOT EASY!

No, it’s not easy. Not for me. I like convenience. I’m also not much of a planner. I’m out and about most days and would just grab whatever was easy when hungry. You know that means going thru the drive-thru…  Eating the way you should means you need to do some planning.  You need to make better choices. Good choices. You have the power! Will you use that power for good or for evil? I choose good!

About a month has passed since you last heard from me. What is going on you ask? Still following your plan you ask? The short answer:  I’m trying to!  I’ve said goodbye to 20 pounds and some 17+ inches from various places in two months. Have I been perfect following my plan? Moi? No. I think that is impossible. But I have no complaints and I’m not too hard on myself.  Nobody’s perfect after all.  Like I mentioned above:  eating like you should IS NOT EASY…but it does get easier!

This past month I went on vacation. I was gone for 10 days enjoying the beach and then a couple of days in New Orleans.  I strived to follow my plan for the most part while gone. Did I eat things I now try to avoid? Pizza? Well, perhaps a slice.  (have I mentioned I love pizza?) Key Lime pie? Come on, I was AT THE BEACH. Chips while hanging out on the beach reading? Surprisingly, not a lot (small pat on the back). Fruity rum deliciousness in tall iced glasses? Again, I was AT THE BEACH. Did I visit Café du Monde while in NOLA and eat some beignets?  No, I did not eat SOME, but I did eat ONE.  But, seriously, I made my choices and I’m okay with what I did. Did I overdo? No. Did I go crazy? No. Did I gain weight? NO! I learned I can treat myself OCCASIONALLY just a LITTLE and not gain weight. Of course, right now I don’t want to maintain I want to lose. Which means straying from my plan is not something I should be doing. And I won’t, I promise (please remember, though, I am not perfect.) It is comforting to know I can fall off a bit and not spiral down like I have in the past. This is not a diet, it is a lifestyle choice and one that must be practiced a lifetime!

Oh, by the way… that Chic-O-Stick is STILL sitting in my cabinet.  I am ignoring it LIKE A BOSS! chickostickNOPE



Forty Years Fat is Enough! part 3

My Journey Continues

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…

Sugar is THE DEVIL!

What the hell am I doing?  I’m usually not much of a sugar craving kind of person. Bread, chips, more bread, more chips, hot rolls fresh out of the oven dripping with melted butter kind of person.  But I’ve been craving the sugary stuff.  The Chick-O-Stick? It’s still in the cabinet. Mocking me.  Taunting its peanut buttery coconut sweet goodness. I’m still the boss of it. So far. But Red Diamond Splenda sweetened tea?  It still owns me. I know that’s fake sugar, not real stuff, but I’m supposed to stay away from that devil stuff too.  So far it owns me. And those 5 animal crackers I ate while watching the grandgirls last night. And the three Hershey’s Kisses I’ve had over this past week.  And a few diet cokes. I went off Diet Coke last July 2 and went like 10 months without any. None. Zip. Nada. But these last couple months? I’ve slowly had a few. Oh, nothing like the drive-thru McDonald’s 10 times a day (slight exaggeration) for a large cold one, but a few times a week.  I know, I know, having the fake sugar is causing me to crave the real stuff. I know!  I know what to do, why can’t I just do it? Just Do It! Nike you suck, shut TF up. I’m sorry, that is the sugar craving talking while I sit here and enjoy a big ol’ glass of unsweet tea and think about Splenda.  And Chick-O-Sticks.

Okay, sugar rant over.  New week coming up let’s see if we can do better.

Forty Years Fat is Enough! part 2

My Journey Begins

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…

So, what am I doing about it?  I have started a program to detox and reduce inflammation… but another happy result is weight loss.  I’m not going to go into all the details here; basically, I’ll be eating clean. Like I should. No sugar, artificial sweeteners, no bread, potatoes, corn… I have a list of food I can choose from.  Lots of veggies, fruits, beef, chicken, fish.  I’d say 1000-1200 calories a day.  It’s really doable I just have to be committed and disciplined. And realize it’s really a way of life, not a diet. The way I should be eating.  I’ve been doing pretty damn good since beginning June 1 if I do say so myself. Is it easy? No. Not because there isn’t enough food to eat or choose from, but the foods I want are not on the list.  I must make the changes to achieve what I want! And not just for a week. Or a month. Or a few months. Or a year. FOR LIFE! And I mean that as a measure of time and as opposed to death… yeah!

To borrow from Nike: Just Do It! Every. Damn. Day.

Have I cheated? Well, let’s just say I haven’t been perfect. That’s not something I’ll ever be. Trust me on this. But, my cheating hasn’t consisted of eating chips or bread or chocolate. No, my cheating has been Splenda tea.  Red Diamond already sweetened with Splenda tea.  Not cheating would be making my own tea and using stevia drops to sweeten. Is that going to hurt my weight loss? Probably not. Detox? Definitely.  I’ll get there. Just not today.  I haven’t had bread in 14 days. That’s huge for me! Haven’t had any heartburn in 14 days either. Coincidence? I think not.  I recently realized bread gave me heartburn. My beloved bread! When I abstained from bread? BOOM! No heartburn.

What have I noticed these past 14 days?  Well, as of this morning, 10 pounds gone. I know that’s not going to continue at the same rate, but it’s sure a nice jump start to get me excited.  What else have I noticed? I’ve noticed when I get up after sitting for a while I just get up and go. None of this groaning as I get started. Most likely due to less inflammation. What do I have to say about that? Amazing!

Am I exercising? I try to walk a couple of miles most days, and on the weekends I bike with my DH (that’s darling husband) 12-18 miles on Saturday or Sunday or both days if feeling adventurous and get up early enough before it’s 200 degrees outside. (that might be a bit of an exaggeration on the temp, but not by much)

My worst times seem to be at night after 8:00. That’s when I want something to eat that I should not have. In my cabinet is a Chick-O-Stick I bought last month. Saw it in grocery checkout lane. Used to eat those when I was kid—you know, like last month— it calls to me “Hey Shir, come take a bite. You know you want to. Just eat me and get it over with…”  Sure, I could just throw it away and shut its stupid mouth for good, but it’s a war now. He’s going to have to sit in that cabinet forever…

Who’s the boss now???


Up next:

My Journey Continues



Forty Years Fat is Enough!

You go back to doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to get what you’ve always got. And that, my friends, is FAT.

A Little Background

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…

I will be 60 years old next March. S.I.X.T.Y.  How is this possible? Well, I guess because I am still living, duh. Forty years ago, when I was 19, I had a melanoma removed from my lower left leg. At the time I wasn’t so worried. Skin cancer. No big deal. Well, as we all know now, melanoma IS a big deal and I was very lucky indeed. In the hospital for a nasty sinus infection the doctor checked me out and noticed what he deemed a suspicious mole on my lower leg. So he removed it and sent in for pathology. This removal resulted in a cut about an inch long and stitched afterwards. Not anything you’d eventually notice. Well, the pathology came back with malignant superficial melanoma if I’m remembering correctly. Superficial he said as it was growing more along the surface and not downward. Yet. So more was removed and I was left with a rather large 4 inch by 5 inch indented oval. The area was left with no feeling since pretty much skin, nerves, etc. were removed. The good news is all surrounding area tested was okay. And now it’s been 40 years and I’m still here. Thanks be to God. I don’t go into all this to blame that stupid melanoma on my 40 years of fat. That’s just a marker for when it started.

On a more joyous note, that is also the year I was engaged to marry my high school sweetheart. We had been dating off and on since 1975 when we were a junior (me) and senior (him) in high school. The melanoma was in April of 1978 and the engagement was in August.

I’d always been pretty much what you would call thin. At 5’8” tall I graduated high school at about 115 pounds wearing a size 5 white sundress. Yep, I was pretty darn skinny. Probably even too skinny. Hard to believe I ate so much junk and was that thin. Being in the high school band pretty much guaranteed a lot of exercise every day, though, which kept us an award-winning marching band my entire high school career.

I graduated in 1977 and followed my high school sweetheart to college. He had already completed a year and made my transition from high school to college easy. I put on a few pounds, as most people tend to do in college, but 125 looked good on me.  It was my second semester, spring 1978, I had to miss several weeks with at first a sinus infection and then dealing with the melanoma. I had to drop a class but finished the semester.  That summer I joined my boyfriend working at a theme park near our school. It was in August that we became engaged. I returned to college for fall 1978 and the spring 1979 semester then moved back home went to work and set about planning our wedding for June.

We were married in June 1979 and spent the summer in our hometown. We returned to college so my husband could finish his last semester. We lived on campus for the rest of that year. I became pregnant in August, expecting our first child in May of 1980, just one week shy of our first anniversary.  This was when I began my 40 years of fat…

We were blessed with three wonderful children. During my pregnancies, I thought I had free rein to eat whatever and however much I desired. Too bad I didn’t make healthier choices. I gained approximately 40 pounds with each child while only losing 20 of that after giving birth. That’s where the bulk of my extra weight came from. That’s 60 pounds right there. Each year I’d gain a few more. When you see you’ve gained a few pounds one year you kind of pooh-pooh it away. What’re 5 pounds? That’s nothing. Well, multiply that by 10 years and that’s another 50 pounds.  So it’s easy to see in hindsight where this extra 100 pounds came from.


Yes, I’ve tried dieting over the years. Every year. Nothing sticks. I always go back to my unhealthy eating habits. I’m not a very stick-with-it kind of person. I want results quickly. I want to lose that weight then I want to be able to eat whatever I want. However much I want. Whenever I want. And still maintain that healthy weight. Yeah, right. You go back to doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to get what you’ve always got. And that, my friends, is FAT.

Every time I decide it is “the time” to do this, I would start out well whether it was WeightWatchers, Jenny Craig, the latest weight loss diet book, etc. etc. Then I would cheat a little. I’d tell myself that that one little bit won’t matter. I’ll get right back on track tomorrow. Then tomorrow. Then the next day. And so on to infinity. Until I just did whatever again without any thought. You know the drill. I’ll start again on Monday or on the first day of the next month or on January 1. Rinse and repeat.


So, what is different this time? I am starting a new journey which I hope will be just what I need! And what is it I need? I need to eat healthily. Eat clean. Make good choices. Stick with it. I need to know that this is a lifestyle. Not a diet that when finished I go back to whatever the hell I want. I want to be healthy. I want to feel good. I want to enjoy my grandchildren! It’s not that I feel bad now, but I KNOW that is coming if I don’t make the changes. And make those changes my B-I-T-C-H yes, I am in charge!

Hopefully blogging about this will help keep me on track and give me an outlet for my thoughts as I begin this journey. Because, seriously, FORTY YEARS FAT IS ENOUGH!

Up next:

My Journey Begins