Forty Years Fat Is Enough! part 5

My Journey Continues

Raw and Unedited–Kinda like my life…

Lesson Learned!

Weight Loss Goals. That is why I am following this program and trying to change the foods I eat. As well as to be healthier, feel better and look better. But, weight loss. Yeah.

Detox and Reduce Inflammation. Those are the main things eating like this is supposed to tackle. (And by “eating like this” I mean eating the way I should…) The weight loss is a wonderful side effect of eating right… But seriously, does cutting out sugar and bread and dairy make that big of a difference? To my joints? I am overweight. My body hurts. Of course it does. When I sit for a while then get up, my knees and my hips scream at me. Sometimes my ankles too. That’s par for the course when you have all that extra weight silly girl, right?

But, listen. I want to tell you something… I started this plan back the first of June. I have lost weight. I have felt good. Even better than good. My joints were NOT achy. After sitting, I’d get up and move and not groan. My knee hasn’t been a bother while walking, biking, or doing yoga. It’s been a great feeling! Until…

These past couple of weeks I’ve been out of town off and on. I didn’t plan too well so I was off my plan somewhat. I ate more sugar. I ate bread. Then more sugar. And bread. All. The. Bread. And this is what I noticed over the past weekend…

Ouch.  All the grumbling. My joints ached. Getting up after sitting for a while caused all sorts of groaning, moaning and well, what else rhymes with groaning? Yes, all the pain. What in my life has changed? Have I stopped moving around? Am I letting my old bones and muscles just hang out and do nothing? No, I’m still doing all the same things. I’ve maintained what I’ve lost so far. The ONLY thing that has been different is my diet. Sugar and bread crept back into my life when I got lazy while traveling. This was more than just the occasional cheat I might sneak in. This was me eating foods I hadn’t been eating and thinking oh, well, some bad choice days spread out over a couple of weeks is not going to make a difference. It’s not going to hurt anything.

Lie!  It did hurt something. It hurt ME! I hurt myself! No one to blame but me and my lack of planning and my poor choices. What have I learned from these past two weeks? Inflammation and toxins are REAL! Staying away from sugar and bread make all the difference. All. The. Difference.

I’m totally back on plan today and my joints are all jumping for joy.

And it doesn’t hurt…

 

The Lives We Live

Below are my incorrigibly random thoughts from earlier today. Bouncing around in my head, ping-ponging from one side of my brain to the other for whatever reason. So I typed them up to shut them up. Maybe someday I’ll elaborate and polish these thoughts, but for now I can relax and enjoy my Zac Brown Band concert tonight!

We can never be born enough… E.E. Cummings While getting ready this morning, thoughts of my life were crowding my mind. Or should I say thoughts of my many lives… I feel as if I’ve lived several lives, each one special in its own way, but each one giving way to the next. When a part of your life is over and you move on to the next it’s almost like that same person doesn’t exist in the present anymore, just the memories and what you have learned. And from each of those lives there was much to be learned.

Being a child seems a lifetime ago. Several lifetimes ago. Sometimes it feels like that never happened; that I’ve always been as I am now. Some would say, “but you still act like such a child.” I laugh and think to myself it’s true. No matter my age I think that child is and will always be within me. Don’t let this shell fool you; I’m still a 17 year old girl. You learn in each lifetime, you just don’t realize it. What I learned as a child was to be carefree, live in the moment, enjoy each day for what it is. Into adolescence and young adult life, however, you are just impatient to get on with your life and grow up. What a paradox these two lives are! You cannot live in the moment if you are impatient for what may or may not happen in the future.

My life as a mother is ongoing, yet ever changing. When you have children you realize you underestimated just how much you could love another person. I love you my children, you are the jewels of my life!! You also realize, if you hadn’t before, just how much your own mother loves you. Thank you Mom, I love you! A lifetime of raising children, busy with their activities and loving every minute of it, leads to a “what do I do now” moment when they are older? Time to get a life. Well, another life…

Life as a non-traditional college student, attending classes while my children were also in school, since I had put my education on hold while raising children. Working at a few jobs throughout my life, but my main job was being a mom. It’s what I had always wanted… to be able to stay home with my children when they were young. Grateful that my life afforded me that opportunity. When I did finish my education, I had a business degree (cum laude no less!!!) and certification to teach business classes in high school.

Being a high school teacher was another lifetime. Being a teacher gives you a whole new appreciation for the teachers you had during your lifetime as a student. And how much those teachers cared for you. The students I taught throughout the years brought me endless joy as well as consternation. Their enthusiasm always contagious, keeping me feeling young, stoking that 17-year-old in me. Getting to know such diverse characters and watching them grow, hoping I had some small part in what they become. Caring about each and every one of them. Ah, a lifetime ago. I think about it often, though.

The life of an elementary school administrative assistant a much different life. Being a part of a new school from practically the beginning, watching 5-year-olds grow into tweens heading into middle school. It was a hard life that first year, working in the office of a new school, very few staff, so I also was the makeshift nurse. Where I was practically never sick while teaching in the high school, my first year at the elementary school I was sick often. One cold after another, several bouts with bronchitis, and even swine flu. After that first year, I think I was immune to everything and haven’t had much more than a cold here and there since. Those elementary kids are a germy bunch… but what a life. What a joy to know those developing kids and their parents. This is one of my most cherished lives so far! So, why did I leave this life? Well…

Throughout all these lives my own children were growing up, living their lives. Going to college, getting jobs, moving out. Getting engaged and married. And making me a grandmother. A grandmother! This was a life I had been looking forward to for some time. To make the most of it, I left my job so I could be the one to take care of my granddaughter each day while her parents worked. Again, my life afforded me this opportunity and I am grateful. It’s hard to put into words how much love I have for this beautiful little girl. Being a grandmother brings to light the love your own grandmother had for you as you think about all the wonderful times you had together, and vow to be this and more for your own grandchildren. Thank you Grandma(s)! I love you and miss you!

E.E. Cummings said, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” Well, I am working on it. I don’t know that I’ll ever grow up or ever fully become who I really am. But that is what living is. Living and changing and growing and evolving. This lifetime here and now I am enjoying each day through the eyes of a one-year-old. The joy and wonder of her is exhilarating. This lifetime here and now I am exploring my own life and wants and dreams as well. As I have in every lifetime in some respect. I think I am just more acutely aware of it now.

Living my life on Facebook, and laughing about it. Yes, it’s a whole ‘nother life out there. People with interests similar to your own that capture your attention and you become acquainted with them over the years, even good friends. A Facebook life. Who would have thought something like this was possible years ago while you were busy living your earlier life. Amazing. Daunting. Amusing and entertaining. An addiction that steals your time if you are not careful! Something that definitely adds interest and a new dimension to this life. Without it I may have never discovered my desire to write, to create, to dream…

A lifetime of love. And what has been constant throughout these lifetimes? The one thing that grounds me, takes care of me, encourages me? No, not diet coke. The unfailing love a wonderful man. Best friend, confidant, lover. Husband, father, grandfather. Through what will be 34 years of marriage this summer this man has been my life and will continue to be for as long as we both shall live. Yes, I feel as if I have lived several different phases of lifetimes each wonderful in its own way, but this lifetime, as a wife, is ongoing and evolving and I cherish every moment of it. It is this lifetime that has made all the others before and after possible. The adhesive that holds all the aspects of my existence together. You let me be what I want to be, whatever that is at the moment. I love you, D

To quote E. E. Cummings once again: “today may I be me, smart, serious, happy, frustrated, impatient, joyful, running, sleeping, smiling, eating, trying, believing, listening, being and becoming.”

Yes, each day in my life may I continue to be all these things!

Patience is not my Virtue

The virtue of being patient.  Standing in line to check out at Walmart today has brought this to mind.  The lady in front of me had perhaps ten items in her cart.  She took them out one at a time to hand to the cashier.  Still, the register belt was moving so I couldn’t put my items out or they would be in her way.  With each of her items she had to discuss something with the checker. Questions, shuffling through papers, more questions.  Coupons maybe.  Perhaps she was price matching, I don’t really know.  The cashier finally turned off the belt so I unloaded my cart.  More’s the pity.  If I hadn’t unloaded my items I would have dashed off to another checkout line pronto.

I was kept entertained by my lovely granddaughter sitting in the cart smiling and waving and saying hi to anyone and everyone who was within her sight.  She was not upset.  Not one bit. She was just enjoying the moment.  Finally the lady in front of me was finished.  She moved forward just enough to be out of the way.  Then proceeded to go through her bags.  The clerk starting scanning my items.  After  a few of them the lady interrupted asking him for two large bags.  She wanted to put her smaller bags in the larger ones.  The cashier leaves the register in the middle of checking me out to go and find her two large bags.  She’s looking at me and apologizing, Elaina is smiling and waving away telling her hi, I just smile at her (okay it may have been more like a grimace)  and continue keying a message on my phone in which I am complaining on facebook about this entire situation.

 The virtue of being patient.    Was I being patient?  Well on the outside I suppose it looked as though I was.  On the inside?  I was bitching and complaining.  I’ve been thinking about that all afternoon.  What was my problem?  Honestly I had nothing but time.  I was not in any kind of hurry.  But there I stood seething a bit inside.  I am not very happy with myself as I think about it.  The virtue of being patient.  So, here I sit at the keyboard and looking up the Seven Virtues.  They are:  chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility. I find myself falling short on a few of the seven.   Yes, patience being one of them.   I’ll just let you wonder about the others… Seems I have some work to do…

To begin with I think I will take a page from Elaina’s book and when I have to wait, to exercise more patience and just enjoy the moment;  to look around me and smile at others and say hi. Who knows, that might just make someone’s day better.  I know it will improve mine.

So, what virtue(s) do you need to work on??

Following your own advice. . .

“The best way to be successful is to follow the advice you give others.”  I read this earlier today and it made me stop and think.  Do I follow the advice I give to others?    Why is it so easy to advise others on the things you need to be doing yourself?  Makes me think I am more of as “do as I say not as I do” type of person.  Am I?   Yikes!  I think this requires more thought as well as action on my part.  I think I know very well what to do and what should be done and I am certainly free with handing that advice out to others, but when it comes to my own life?  Well, I see it’s all much easier said than done.  What about you?  Do you follow your own advice?  Well, my advice to you is to listen to yourself—you know what you are talking about!