Diet Coke, I Miss you!

Diet Coke Deprivation: Day 3
Yes, you read that right. Those of you who know me are no doubt shaking your head and saying “no way!” I assure you it is true. I’ve got the nearly empty bottle of Advil to prove it… Can you say headache?

Let’s rewind a couple of days. Ah, those glorious days of the never ending diet coke… It was a normal Monday. You know, one where I frequent McD’s for a large diet coke (light ice) for 99 cents. Several times a day. I spend my time in between drive through visits reading Dr. Seuss, watching Dinosaur Train, and posting on Facebook. Dr. Seuss? No, that is not a typo. Anyways, diet coke pretty much flows through my veins. True story. I remember my first like it was yesterday. No more Tab for me! The introduction of diet coke in 1982 made it the absolute best year ever! Wait, I mean my daughter being born in 1982 made it the best year ever with diet coke a close second… (sorry Jen). So, for 31 years now I’ve probably not gone too many days without diet coke. Even when visiting London, Scotland and Ireland. I had no ice, but by god I had diet coke or coca cola light as it is called in the UK… Anyways, I digress. Yes, for 31 years I’ve pretty much had diet coke daily. You don’t have to tell me that’s not good. I know this. But do I care? Apparently not. Which brings me to the why of my deprivation…

I blame Facebook. Isn’t Facebook the root of all evil? Yeah. I created a Facebook page (‘cause I wasn’t wasting enough time having just one profile…) but this one will be used to promote any writing I do. (Good luck with writing when you’re not drinking diet coke–you really thought that one through SJ.) My page had 51 likes so as a challenge I shared the link to my page and said for every additional 10 likes I’ll go without diet coke for a day. That afternoon I received 30+ more likes. So, three days without diet coke. I can do that.

Day 1 wasn’t too bad. I had tea. I sipped water. Water is something everyone should drink more of! I’m such a slacker there. But hey, when I’m not constantly guzzling that bubbly, caffeinated liquid ambrosia, I have to make do with something. Tea and water. I can do this.

Day 2 still doing okay. I hit McD’s a couple of times for their iced tea. It just fits in my hand so nicely and I find I need that. My hands were getting twitchy.

Day 3 (today) has been a struggle. I’ve had 8-10 cups of water and at least that much tea. And Advil. For my headache. You’d think with the tea I’m downing I would not get that lack of caffeine headache. But I think my diet coke consumption was still twice what I drink in tea and water so caffeine saturation has probably been cut in half… At the zoo today I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I looked at the diet coke nozzle, unused on the soda machine, as I filled my cup with lemonade. Lemonfreakinade! Later as I was standing with my granddaughter looking at the elephants I overheard some of the visitors asking people near us if that was the elephants making that pitiful noise they could hear while they were over at the tiger exhibit. I looked up and saw them shaking their heads, glancing nervously at me and quickly look away, but not before I saw the fear in their eyes. Then I heard them whisper, “no, it was that red-headed lady.”

All I could think about the entire afternoon was how wonderful that large diet coke was going to taste first thing in the morning. I’m going to make it! I busied myself with a little cleaning, sipping water all the while. Sitting down to relax and read a bit, I picked up the iPad to check Facebook real quick. It’d been an hour after all. That could be some kind of record by the way… I’m shocked at the notifications I see staring at me. My page has garnered quite a few more likes. What. The. Hell???? Now, last I looked, I’m up another 69 likes. That’s SIX MORE DAYS OF NO DIET COKE! Almost seven! I’m telling you now; you better dump your stock in Coca Cola. A friend posted on my timeline a link to a news article from today showing a decline in soda sales for Coca Cola and PepsiCo. He does not think it a coincidence… Bryant you may be correct.

Tomorrow, Friday, is Day 4. The weekend coming up presents even more challenges. My Captain Morgan will sit on the counter, mocking me. Cap’n Morgan and tea? Uhm I think not… Looks like a margarita and Advil filled weekend for me. Somebody might want to check on the husband this weekend…

“The god’s chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!” You tell ‘em, Percy!

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